蘑菇视频

Dec 13, 2020 By Mark Hofmannmhofmann@heraldstandard.Com 5 min read

Well, it’s been a few years since I settled the long-held debate that “Die Hard” is, in fact, a Christmas movie.

Since then, it seems like many folks have accepted that logical fact. I’ve seen more and more “Die Hard”-themed Christmas ornaments, games, advent calendars, mistletoe and even a cable channel running 24 hours of “Die Hard” on Christmas Day.

No doubt exists that the column’s cultural influence is still going strong, but with that success, many people (something like three) have asked me what could I write about next.

Why, a sequel, of course!

As with all sequels, I had to up the ante and show that not only is “Die Hard 2: Die Harder” a Christmas movie as well, but a worthy one nonetheless.

And like most sequels, I’m pretty much going to rehash the same plot device from my “Die Hard” column and compare “Die Hard 2” with another holiday movie classic that’s aired on cable TV for 24 hours, “A Christmas Story”.

So let’s load our BB guns and Yippie Kay Aiy kick our feet up and see how “Die Hard 2” holds up in various categories.

#1 Story

In “Die Hard 2,” cop John McClane is spending Christmas Eve in a Washington, D.C. airport, awaiting the arrival of his wife’s flight. When a group of mercenaries overtake the airport’s control tower to free an incoming drug lord from federal custody, it’s up to McClane to save the day.

In “A Christmas Story,” 9-year-old Ralphie Parker attempts to convince his parents, his teacher and Santa Claus that an official Red Ryder carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle with a compass in the stock is the perfect gift.

This one was almost a toss up, but I’ll have to give it to “A Christmas Story.” Ralphie’s main objective was to get a BB gun for Christmas while McClane had plenty of semi-automatic and automatic firearms at his disposal, so I have to root for Ralphie as McClane, essentially, was just a guy waiting for his wife at the airport.

#2 Christmas references

Both films have snow, decorations in many scenes, semi-automatic weapons and references to reindeer, gifts, Christmas nooses, eggnog and the ghost of Christmas past. That’s just scratching the surface of the endless reminders of Christmas through visuals and the spoken word.

And so, I’ll have to call a tie in that category.

#3 Proximity to Christmas

Like the original film, “Die Hard 2” takes place from Christmas Eve to the early-morning hours of Christmas day throughout its entire 125-minute runtime.

“A Christmas Story” is pretty vague on a timeline as it’s mentioned at the beginning that the story begins at the “pre-Christmas season,” which is likely early December as that movie takes place in the 1940s, not like in the present day when pre-Christmas is in late August.

Anyway, we don’t get to Christmas Eve/Christmas Day until the last 24 minutes of the movie’s 94-minute runtime.

With that, “Die Hard 2” sure doesn’t die harder or die at all in that category, and takes the win.

#4 Songs

“Die Hard 2” has a fair selection of Christmas songs throughout from songs on the airport intercom to the same rendition of “Let it Snow” for the end credits (also used for the end credits in the original film).

However, “A Christmas Story” has a variety of Christmas music on the soundtrack and in the background throughout the movie. In fact, there’s five Christmas songs within the first three minutes of the movie.

With that, “A Christmas Story” easily fa-ra-ra-ra-raaaa, ra-ra-ra-raaaa’d itself to win that particular category.

#5 Death toll/body count

While McClane has a respectable kill count of 23 for an early 1990s action film, I must say that Raphie holds his own with a kill count of five in “A Christmas Story.”

Sure, it was a fantasy, but Ralphie is shown gunning down four members of Black Bart’s marauding gang. He also dispatched neighborhood bully Scut Farkas. Yes, I know Scut sat up after Raphie pummeled him, but I’m betting Scut died from internal injuries shortly after.

But, as I learned in preschool, a kill is a kill is a kill, and McClane certainly delivered the goods!

After tabulating the results, it appears that we’re stuck with a tie between the two films, and, honestly, I’m okay with that.

You see, the other thing about sequels is they rarely live up to their predecessor, and “Die Hard 2” is no exception.

While “Die Hard 2” doesn’t compare to the original “Die Hard,” it’s still an enjoyable and entertaining film, and as a bonus, at least it’s nose-to-nose with “A Christmas Story” in terms of being a worthy Christmas movie.

Honestly, who could ask for anything more? Well, maybe an official Red Ryder carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.

Just don’t shoot your eye out while fighting mercenaries at the airport.

According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, “Good Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One…and Dying, Too” and “Stupid Brain,” are available on Amazon.com. He co-hosts the “Locally Yours” radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday.

[gallery_header ids=”767935鈥砞