蘑菇视频

Dec 20, 2020 By Mark Hofmann mhofmann@heraldstandard.Com 4 min read

Last Christmas, I became a responsible adult when I finally learned how to make homemade eggnog.

Also last Christmas, my brother gave me an advent calendar, but instead of punching out the days leading up to Christmas and getting a chocolate, each day had one of those miniature bottles of booze that you would get on an airplane.

So, that蘑菇视频 one responsible thing and one irresponsible thing I had last year and, as everyone knows, if you mix a responsible thing with an irresponsible thing, you get something that蘑菇视频 totally awesome.

Now, basic eggnog is pretty simple to make: just take eggs, sugar, heavy cream, milk and nutmeg, put it all in a blender, blend until thick and most the eggshells have been liquefied and serve hot鈥�or maybe I read the recipe wrong.

Anyway, you spice things up when you add alcohol to your eggnog, but only after you heat the mixture up in the air fryer.

Normally, rum or whisky is added to eggnog, but as I found with the alcoholic advent calendar, other spirits of Christmas past, present and future pair wonderfully and not-so-wonderfully with eggnog.

Either way, I found that I can鈥檛 use the generic name of 鈥渆ggnog鈥� for these concoctions.

So here蘑菇视频 your holiday drink guide to the wide, wonderful world of different types of alcohol you can add to your eggnog along with tasting notes and what foods are best to pair it with.

Tequila + Eggnog = Esse-nog

Nothing screams traditional British Christmas than the flavors of nutmeg and agave. Best paired with Taco Bell, but, please, nothing from the value menu; keep it classy.

Vodka + Eggnog = Nyet-nog

It turns out you can鈥檛 pair any food to a cocktail with notes of eggnog and rubbing alcohol鈥揂mish potato salad came the closest, but I couldn鈥檛 in good conscience commit that to paper. As a substitute, I suggest watching the movie 鈥淩ocky IV鈥� while going the distance when trying to enjoy this drink.

Jagermeister + Eggnog = Guten-nog

One has to wonder if the taste of black licorice and eggnog go together. No spoiler alert here: they don鈥檛 unless you craftily pair it with black licorice and a variety of flavors of Slim Jim beef sticks.

Wine (white or red) + Eggnog = Vine-nog

Tasting notes vary greatly with any different wine, so let蘑菇视频 say the tastes are all鈥�complex. Much how the inner workings of a sewage-treatment facility is complex. Cheese is the normal pairing companion to wine, but for this Frankensteinian drink, any cheese will do like American cheese, Cheese Whiz or Cheetos.

Gin + Eggnog = Pine-nog

Whoever said, 鈥淚 wonder what a Pine-sol-flavored milkshake would taste like,鈥� can wonder no more. This mixture really goes well with any food, but don鈥檛 eat a lot of food when it comes to this drink because barf bags and you child蘑菇视频 stocking can only hold so much.

Champagne + Eggnog = Fizzy-nog

Best not to drink this concoction too fast or you鈥檒l be burping up all things from Christmas past, re-tasting the notes of the fruity and floral aromas and heavy cream and egg yolks. Best to pair it with鈥�eh, whatever is expensive. At this point, why not?

Irish whiskey + Eggnog = Whaddaya-lookin鈥�-at-or鈥檒l-punch-yer-rotted-teeth-out-nog

There蘑菇视频 no better way to drink away your sorrows over past tragedies like fist fighting over the last Cabbage Patch doll on Black Friday in 1983 than this tasty combination of malty oak and liquefied custard. Pairs well with corned beef and a bloodied lip.

Moonshine + Eggnog = White-lightning-nog

Take the searing burn out of gut-wrenching moonshine you got from your cousin, who got it from his second cousin from his wife蘑菇视频 side of the family from 鈥渟ome guy who stumbled upon a still near his house in the West Virginia wilderness鈥� with the cooling, coating, rich and sugary eggnog. If you don鈥檛 go blind from the suspect moonshine or go into a diabetic coma from the eggnog, this drink pairs best with any kind of gamey food, especially reindeer, if you鈥檙e feeling festive.

With that, if you want to show off your mixology skills at your next Christmas party and especially if you don鈥檛 want to host another party or be invited to another party or have none of your friends and family ever speak to you again, keep this handy holiday hooch guide handy鈥�and a barf bag or two.

According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 鈥淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One鈥�and Dying, Too鈥� and 鈥淪tupid Brain,鈥� are available on Amazon.com. He co-hosts the 鈥淟ocally Yours鈥� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday.