蘑菇视频

Dec 27, 2020 By Mark Hofmann mhofmann@heraldstandard.Com 4 min read

I don鈥檛 know about anyone else, but normally around June or July, my thoughts go to whatever will be considered the words or phases that are most used throughout the year. Such insight comes when you don鈥檛 have much of a life.

For the year 2020, it didn鈥檛 require much thought power to easily spout off what are easily the most used words and phrases of the year like 鈥渟ocial distancing,鈥� 鈥淧PE,鈥� 鈥渟elf quarantine,鈥� 鈥減andemic,鈥� 鈥渨ork from home,鈥� 鈥渕aking bagels from home,鈥� 鈥渓ockdown from home,鈥� 鈥渦nprecedented鈥� and 鈥渟ewage-filled dumpster fire Ice Capades from home鈥�.

However, I鈥檓 the kind of guy who doesn鈥檛 rely on online dictionaries and national media sources to tell me what the most uttered phrase of 2020 is as I get my info from the same place where I get medical and financial advice: the streets.

With that said, the top phrase of 2020 that has yet to appear on any list is 鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying鈥︹��

If you haven鈥檛 heard that phrase ad nauseam (or become nauseous after hearing yourself repeating that phrase over and over again), then you鈥檝e been in a coma in the past several months, you lucky dog, you.

Come to think about it, even in a coma, you can probably still hear people using the phrase to talk about your condition.

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying it蘑菇视频 not a coma, but he蘑菇视频 just a lazy bum who蘑菇视频 pretending to sleep to get out of jury duty and the contempt-of-court hearing. Did you hear that, Harold, you lazy bum?!鈥�

As with everything鈥揺specially COVID-19鈥撯�淣ow they鈥檙e saying鈥︹�� is the unofficial hearsay citation to authority figures regarding late-breaking information.

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying we have to wash our hands all the time.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying we have to wash them for 20 seconds every time.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying we have to sing 鈥楬appy Birthday鈥� while washing our hands.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying we have to sing the 鈥楬appy Birthday鈥� song slower so instead of singing it like we鈥檙e at a kid蘑菇视频 birthday party and want to just get through it so we can eat cake as fast as possible. We have to sing it like restaurant employees sing it to customers, which seems to go on forever.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying the 鈥楬appy Birthday鈥� song is copyrighted, and we have to pay royalties every time we wash our hands!鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying the 鈥楬appy Birthday鈥� song was put back in the public domain four years ago, so we can sing it again, but slower.鈥�

When someone becomes frustrated with hearing the 鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying鈥� line, the person normally begins asking questions, mainly asking who蘑菇视频 the 鈥渢hey鈥� in 鈥渢hey鈥檙e鈥� as well as who蘑菇视频 the 鈥渞e鈥� in 鈥渢hey鈥檙e鈥�.

In terms of COVID-19, the answer is normally 鈥淭he Government,鈥� 鈥淭he Doctors,鈥� 鈥淭he News鈥� or, in my case, 鈥淧eg-legged Tug Boat Captains,鈥� which happens to be the second place I get medical and financial advice.

Of course, the phrase is not new to COVID-19 or the year 2020; it has always lived in our lexicon, especially in terms of the medical field.

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying eggs are bad for you.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying eggs are actually good for you, but it蘑菇视频 the butter you use to fry the egg that蘑菇视频 bad for you.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying the butter is okay, but the margarine and the bacon is what蘑菇视频 bad for you.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying a little bacon is okay, but avoid the morning doughnut.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying to avoid your entire breakfast because there蘑菇视频 too many potential deathtraps.鈥�

鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying to remember that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.鈥�

It seems there蘑菇视频 no good way to combat such a phenomenon. I mean, even this day and age of instant information at our fingertips, the 鈥渢hey-sayers鈥� not only have survived, but thrived, especially this year with much uncertainty in the air.

So, when people you know say, 鈥淣ow they鈥檙e saying the phrase of the year is 鈥榮ocial distancing鈥�,鈥� you can do what I do and reply, with confidence, that you totally agree with them, but, like me, only you and my tug-boat-captain friends are the wiser鈥�or until they say otherwise.

According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 鈥淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One鈥�and Dying, Too鈥� and 鈥淪tupid Brain,鈥� are available on Amazon.com. He co-hosts the 鈥淟ocally Yours鈥� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday.