According to Hofmann: All tricked out for the masquerade
Nothing reinforces the fact that we humans know how to totally rock a global pandemic more than the tricked-out masks I鈥檝e been seeing while going on supply runs to what were formerly known as public places.
Maybe I鈥檓 old fashioned, coming from an era of about two months ago, but I remember a time when protective masks were either blue or white, or maybe pink depending on supply and demand or whatever cause you wanted to support.
However, nowadays, I鈥檓 overwhelmed by the variety of masks that are available.
An online search for masks shows how in-demand they are as I only typed 鈥渄ecorative鈥� and the top five suggestions related to medical face masks with the sixth being for decorative pillows鈥hich people, I鈥檓 sure, are using as masks, but more on that later.
Available to purchase are your classic rainbow of colors, bandanna designs, galaxy designs, teeth designs, facial-hair designs, flower designs, cat and dog and various animal-face designs, camouflage designs, flag designs and Spongebob and Baby Yoda designs to name very, very few.
Speaking of babies, there蘑菇视频 a plethora of cartoon and goofy-mouth designs as well as more specialized protective apparatuses out there to further protect some already overprotected kids.
The following is a description of a hat/face-shield combo I found online, and I promise that I didn鈥檛 make any of this up as I only left out the product name: 鈥淎nti Spitting Protective Hat/Face Shield Fisherman Hat Anti Splash Safety Cover Windproof Dustproof Face Cover Anti UV Sun Cap鈥�.
The boy in the accompanying photo is almost as protected as CDC lab technicians. The next step would be putting the Boy in a Plastic Bubble like John Travolta in that movie 鈥淪aturday Night Fever鈥�.
Speaking of extra protection and Baby Yoda, not only have these masks become a fashion statement, but also something of a status symbol.
I鈥檓 happy using a pair of underwear and rubber bands to fashion a mask or saving some cash and purchasing a bulk of 5,000 masks for $5.50, direct shipping from China.
However, there are those people who fork over a little extra for top-of-the line facial protection that makes them look like they鈥檙e doctors鈥rom the future鈥racticing medicine in a spaceship鈥n the future.
I鈥檓 not really an expert on anything other than finding super-awesome protective mask deals online, but I know a step up from your basic white/blue/pink masks are the masks with filters in them made from toilet paper (that蘑菇视频 the real reason why there was a shortage). Now, those masks pretty much look like any other mask, but that蘑菇视频 never good enough for some of these corona-snobs.
Now there are masks that look like the wearer is going to participate in an Olympic BMX competition with one or two visible filters on the masks with some of those filters around the cheek area, so go figure how that works.
Again, here蘑菇视频 another description if you鈥檙e shopping for one of these things online: 鈥淭he 3D design of the mouth cover fits your face contour, the elastic ear loop cover won鈥檛 add too much pressure on the face, five layers with reloadable extra activated carbon filters and breathing valves allows air to cycle, keeping the mouth cover inside dry. Be the envy of your hunting/gathering party while venturing beyond the outpost for supplies.鈥�
Okay, I fabricated the part about the elastic ear loops, but you get the point.
Speaking of fabrication and Baby Yoda, people have taken their various talents and made their own masks by gathering items around the home for themselves, to sell or to give to front-line medical personnel.
It just goes to show two things: this is the right time in the entire history of the world to have a pandemic (the only better time was Aug. 19, 1848, but that蘑菇视频 purely an astrological thing) and that people, no matter what, will always have their personalities and talents emerge when there are necessities that the world needs.
I even found some inspiration and perspiration from those stories and decided to do to my part and help out my local hospital with masks and other personal protection equipment made from my childhood Incredible Hulk Underoos, which were promptly rejected by hospital staff and then burned in the parking lot.
Take my advice, when handing off old underwear as a legit PPE, best not to tell them it was previously used and tested.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He co-hosts the 鈥淟ocally Yours鈥� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 鈥淪tupid Brain,鈥� is available on Amazon.com.