Child Sexual Abuse: The Secret of the Silent Forest
The shiny surface of the pond we call society reflects the image of the human forest that surrounds it.
Almost every image in those reflections carries a unique glory. But far too often, just below the shimmering ripples, there is a dark secret, out of sight and frequently beyond any early detection.
On occasion, deviant figures arise from those shadows; as though they come from a place so remote and obscure that it has no name. One might suppose they possess stillborn souls, conceived in murky decadence and raised in noxious landscapes.
Though the brave, the noble and the vigilant continually search for them, the predators blend in so well with the surrounding scenery, their seductive advances are difficult to detect.
To our young who become their victims, even the closest of guardians can resemble towering trees in a silent forest where nightmares are born and screams from the heart are too cloaked with fear to pierce the darkness.
At times, it may appear that even childhood toys become emotionless sentries that turn away their faces in shame and are forever entrusted to guard the horrible secrets.
The painful and emotional imagery created in those agonizing silent cinemas never really fades away; in fact, they are often easily reawakened.
Reminders of the throbbing and nauseating dread that surfaced as the sound of familiar footsteps approached, the paralyzing fear that welled up when the door was opened, the sickening reality of someone kneeling next to your bed again, and the quiet whispers were only a harbinger of what was to follow. What followed were unspeakable violations of innocence; the same innocence consumed by other monsters often appearing in the form of a parent, close relative or family friend.
The whispering voice would remind you that you were loved, but others might not understand these personal expressions, so secrecy was demanded.
In your soft, but firm voice you said “no,” and “don’t,” but it didn’t seem to matter.
The possibility that others would find out left you terrified so you bravely learned to hold your silence. The voice reminded you that if anyone did find out, bad things might happen to the family. You didn’t want Mom and Dad to separate, lose their jobs or the house. You didn’t want to move away, go to another school or have to make new friends all over again.
Now, looking down the corridor of your life, you cannot fathom why those depredations ever occurred. What you do know is that you cling to the hope that someday, time or God will put to death your burning anguish, dry the river of tears, erase the graphic memories and heal the wretched aching in your soul. For victims of molestation, grief is the most familiar street in the world.
The non-profit organization Darkness to Light (D2L) states, “The real prevalence of child sexual abuse is not known because so many victims do not disclose or report their abuse. Most professionals in the field of abuse use rates from 8% to 20%. 73% of child victims do not tell anyone for a year. 45% of victims don’t tell anyone for at least 5 years.”
Specialists in child behavior suggest the following as warning signs:
Dramatic behavioral changes in eating habits, family relationships, or excessive acting out. Activities with peers may begin to suffer by withdrawing or by becoming more aggressive. A loss of concentration at school may result in grades slipping or the sudden fear of a particular person or place may arise.
An abused child may voice inexplicable physical complaints such as headaches, stomachaches, or genital discomforts. Victims may manifest unexplained bruises, welts or scrapes. Some may overreact to physical touches, physician examinations or suddenly be more aware of and preoccupied with sexual conduct, words, and parts of the body.
Home should be a warm, protected and happy nest for the young; a place to be nurtured, and a place to become the person you were meant to be. How heart-sickening it is to discover that in the safest of places, tucked away for the night, the vilest of offenses are perpetrated.
Unfortunately, there are ominous shadows lurking in the silent forest and each of us should take care to guard our precious young.
Larry Douglas is a resident of Waynesburg.