Cut yourself some slack
Perhaps the biggest reason we fail to change eating and lifestyle choices is that we fear our inevitable imperfection: that we will ultimately 鈥渇ail鈥� to perfectly execute the calorie count, or the portion sizes, or the number of veggies per day, or how much water we should drink, or any number of prescribed parameters.
Sounds scary to think of 鈥渄ieting鈥� as a list of limitations, rules, and rigid measurements. No doubt some programs are close to this, and no doubt there are a few among us who thrive on that sort of prescriptive rigidity. I believe most of us need a more 鈥渉uman鈥� approach to personal choices regarding health and wellness. We need to be able to try things, make mistakes, have set-backs, and feel okay about our efforts all along the way.
On my journey, I have followed the 鈥渢wo steps forward; one step back鈥� approach. This means not judging myself too harshly, and having compassion for myself: realizing I was bombarded with food-related advertising and cultural norms during my formative years. These influences shape us very early on, before we have any capacity to decide for ourselves.
Think of what has taught you eating habits. I can think of several without much effort: Halloween trick or treat, with its main goal of filling that big plastic pumpkin with candy; McDonald蘑菇视频 cast of characters: Hamburglar, Mayor McCheese. Ronald McDonald; the Toucan advertising Fruit Loops cereal; Frankenberry, Boo Berry and Count Chocula cereal icons; the Owl character licking Tootsie Pops; the animated pitcher for Kool Aid drink; and the Keebler elves pushing their cookies.
I could add to this list for an hour easy. These are POWERFUL and LASTING images for many of us, and they only scratch the surface. We are essentially programmed at a very young age in regard to food habits. In fact, we can make this argument about pretty much all of our attitudes including religion, world view, political leanings, etc.
These are beyond the scope of this article, but they further support the general idea of what I refer to as 鈥減re-conscious鈥� programming: that is, programming before we developed any amount of independent thinking. It can be argued that as a result, many of us never truly developed 鈥渋ndependent鈥� thinking. So, this early programming continues to control us into our adult years.
This is the prime reason why it is indeed so difficult to change our eating and exercise habits. So for most of us, it is absolutely essential to be patient with ourselves, and recognize that if we spent our first 10 or 20, or even 30-plus years carrying out the programming of our early years, then it may very well take a comparable amount of time to change these deeply ingrained habits. And, we should expect our bodies, which have these habits implanted into muscle memory, to fight back against any and all attempts to re-program. Therefore it should be no surprise at all when we have difficulty 鈥渟ticking to the plan.鈥�
A possible first step is to sit down with pen and paper, and list what you are addicted to, food-wise. How do we identify a food addiction? Well, here蘑菇视频 my shot at a definition: If we feel that it tastes good, but we know that either it makes us feel bad after eating it, or we have seen credible evidence it is nutritionally unsound, but we still eat it, then we are addicted. Examples for me would be potato chips, ice cream, sugary candy bars, carbonated soft drinks and white bread. None of these have any valid argument for nutrition, and in fact all have been shown to have harmful effects, yet my body still 鈥渨ants鈥� them.
Now, THIS is where we begin to make the change: once we bring these addictions to the attention of the conscious mind, we can choose to limit the body蘑菇视频 access to them. Will the body 鈥渃omplain鈥�? Oh YES鈥ount on it! As with any addiction, withdrawal is certain. This is why I allow for very limited cheat days, and back-sliding. For example, if I eat clean for three or four days in a row (salads, no sugar 鈥� including white bread and rice, fresh fruit, nuts and seeds), then I can let myself have a binge day of sorts. I might have ice cream, or chips, or a sugary drink, or maybe all three. Then I get back 鈥渙n the wagon鈥� the next day. Well, oops, maybe I slip up and have another treat the next day鈥h well鈥ust start fresh the next morning. This is the routine. It is not unlike a good marriage 鈥� you choose to make it work every single day, every single hour, every single minute. In nutrition and health, it is every single meal, and every single bite. If this bite or this meal is less than perfect, then make the next one a little better.
I had a rare binge on gelato this past weekend, and my digestive system paid the price. Next morning, I eliminated the by-products, ate sensibly, and exercised a bit. I felt 100 percent better by the afternoon. I did not beat myself up over it. I allowed the indiscretion, and moved on. If I had punished myself with pangs of guilt, I鈥檇 have only added to my stress level, and probably pushed myself toward depression (anger turned inward). I care about myself way to much to do that, and I have worked far too hard for too long to forget how far I have come 鈥� but this journey was neither straight nor smooth. It was, and will continue to be, full of curves, hills, speed bumps, and doubling back to turn somewhere else.
The trick is to extend your line of site over a longer period of time. Instead of judging ourselves on how we did over the past day or week (which should not be totally ignored, by the way), it is more fair to look how far we have come over six months (or six years). Make your choice meal by meal, and day by day, but allow yourself reasonable and expected ups and downs.
Just make sure your good choices outweigh your bad ones at least two to one, and over time, you will progress steadily, and definitively forward! This works especially well in regard to eating, but I submit it can be applied to all of life.