Who’s on First?
Several months ago, I wrote about a mix-up with family names. We gave our daughter the middle name Carol because we thought my mother’s middle name was Carol. It was Carolyn. As my son-in-law emerged from the birthing suite, he told us that the new baby boy’s middle name was going to be Francis, and I went off about how that name had caused me nothing but heartaches. My rant included information that only I cared about. You know, as a little kid, I was bullied. Then in Junior High, I became “Francis the Talking Mule,” and due to homogeneous grouping and people not understanding the difference between Francis and Frances, I was placed in an all-girls class in eighth grade for most of the day. Now that I’m over 65, I’m Francis all the time for the TSA, Social Security, Medicare, and speeding tickets.
It’s a great name. It’s just not my favorite name. I explained to my son-in-law that I was honored, but he should reconsider that name because I didn’t want the baby to be bullied like I was. At that point, his other grandfather spoke up and said, “My middle name is Francis, and I’ve always liked it.”
OK, I apologized to him, but still couldn’t help myself. It’s why Francis Fitzgerald called himself, F. Scott Fitzgerald. If I would have been called Frank or Frankie since I was a little kid, I would have adjusted, but I’ve always been Nick. Oh, and let me ask you this? Who else do you know who was named after their grandmother? Of course, the Italian name is Francisco Iacoboni. Now that name is both musical and macho. I could probably have been a catcher for the Pirates. Okay, I’m sorry, none of this is your issue, but if you ever see an obituary or an arrest report with the name Francis Jacobs, remember it’s probably going to be me.
Now, let’s get to the point. My Cleveland cousin told me that her mother’s doctor called her Mary. I had always known and called her Ludy. It turned out that Ludy was short for Mary Lou. She may even have been named after my mother. When I asked my cousin Millie about this latest name confusion, she wrote back the following Email:
My dad is Frank but called Sam, my mom is Mary Lou, but called Ludy. My grandfather Joseph was nicknamed Mack, and my grandmother Mildred was called Red. Of course, my uncle Chuck is really Martin, and to confuse matters even more had changed his last name to Sommers, like Suzanne, or Elke without the s. Uncle Chuck’s sibling’s name is Sally, but we know for sure that’s not her real name. We just don’t know what it is.
Then we have Uncle John who is Jack, and cousin’s Don and Nick (my brother and me) whose first names were really Charles and Francis, and their Dad was Antonio but he went by Charlie. On my husband’s side, his sister, Vick is not a guy. She’s Victoria and there are two aunt Pat’s. One is Funny Aunt Pat and the other Patt is called Two-T, not to be mistaken with Tootie because of the way she spells Patt. Welcome to the family.
On, and this cousin Millie’s real name? Her name is Mildred but she refuses to be called Mildred until she’s at least 95 years old.
But why stop now? My father-in-law called my mother-in-law, Helen by the nickname, Mike, and my kids always call their friends by nicknames, too. In fact, I still don’t know real names for Taro, Crusty, Yonk, and Beefy when I see them. My mother was Mary, my wife was Mary, and my sister-in-law was Mary Eileen who went by Eileen, and my neighbor was Mary, but they called her Susie.
As my cousin, Millie, said, “Welcome to the family.” LOL
Nick Jacobs of Pittsburgh is a Principal with SunStone Management Resources and author of the blog healinghospitals.com.