Raucous train ride ends in chewing gum mishap
My in-laws lived in Pittsburgh, and when the kids were little, we had only one car. Consequently, when my wife wanted to take them to visit her folks on a Saturday while I was teaching private trumpet lessons, she had to either wait or take the train, and her dad and mom would pick them up at the Amtrak station. Then I’d make the trek there the following day to bring them home.
This particular Saturday morning, my teaching began at nine, around the same time the train was scheduled to depart. So, I dropped her off at the station with a three and barely one- year-old in tow.
Keep in mind that the economies of this adventure didn’t make a lot of sense. If I taught six kids at $7 each, between train tickets, snacks and the bottle of Lambrusco she probably needed to make it through a trip like this, we barely broke even.
As it turned out, the train was late that day, and the three-year-old was on fire. He was full of pure kid energy and was hell-bent on trashing the train station. He ran from bench to bench, crawled on the floor, jumped, yelled, and well, acted like a three-year-old.
She, of course, did the best she could with a tiny second child in-tow, but as described by her, it was a @#n$- show. Between trying to herd him, changing diapers, feeding the baby and managing angry, impatient old people to keep them from calling Children and Youth Services, she had her hands full.
I, of course, was completely oblivious to all of this because I was spending my Saturday morning being a musical mercenary, spreading my limited musical knowledge around several school districts’ best and brightest trumpet students. “Sit-up straight, use your diaphragm when you push out the air for those high notes, and make sure you hold that note until the very end of the phrase,” were the types of phrases that came out of my mouth.
Meanwhile, at the Amtrak station you may have heard, “NICKY, come over here! Let the nice lady alone. Don’t take that man’s glasses. Stop crawling on the floor, that’s disgusting.”
When the train finally arrived, Momma Bear and her two cubs ran gleefully on board and were greeted by a compassionate conductor who made sure they had two seats near the front of the passenger car so the other riders could sit further back from the chaos that was sure to be part of the forthcoming two-hour trip ahead of them. With, at the very least, four more stops during the trip, there were plenty of opportunities for the three-year-old to wreak havoc on unsuspecting passengers and railroad employees.
According to well documented railroad legend, Nicky immediately jumped out of his seat and began terrorizing nearby humans as only a three-year-old is capable of doing. He spread his grandiloquence and joy throughout the car as his little sister slept peacefully on her mother’s lap, and his mom yelled in whispers, “Nicky, let those people alone. Come back here. The railroad police will arrest you!”
When he finally returned, she noticed that he was chewing gum, and she had not given him any gum.
“Sweetie,” she said quietly, “Where did you get that chewing gum?” There was a long pause as she shuddered to think that he might have become a bona fide street urchin, begging for gum from the other passenger. But, no, that was not the case as he smiled confidently and replied, “This gum? Chomp. Chomp. Where did I get this gum?” “Yes, Nicky, wherever did you get that gum that you’re chewing?” He smiled with pride as he replied, “I got the gum there.” He pointed to the handle of the seat directly behind them.
Aargh!
Upon arrival, their very first stop was a drugstore to buy mouthwash.
Nick Jacobs of Pittsburgh is a Principal at SunStone Management Resources and author of the blog healinghospitals.com.