Does God understand the loss of a loved one?
With the recent passing of my 36-year-old daughter, who lead a courageous 10-year on and off battle with cancer, I had to intensely revisit this question.
Let’s recall something about this situation. God could have stopped His son’s death, but chose not to because Jesus Christ had to go to the cross if God was to reconcile us. So, in a nutshell it goes like this: God was showing faithfulness to us through the death of a loved one: His son.
God was revealing His character to the world, and you and I are included in the world. He was proving commitment to people who didn’t even know or care about Him. God was honoring His loyalty to people who hadn’t been born yet. Remember, this death occurred over two thousand years ago. For God so loved the world, even when the world wasn’t loving Him back.
The Father set an unparalleled example. He was willing to endure heartache and pain by losing a loved one in order to reach out to us. He didn’t turn on us when He could have cut and run. God didn’t use the death of a loved one as an excuse to get away from us. He used it as a means to draw closer.
Now this brings us to a crossroads question that is also worth examining: Since God showed faithfulness to us through the death of a loved one, will we in turn show our faithfulness to Him through the death of our loved ones?
Will we, when we suffer the loss of death, quit blaming God and instead use it as a time to draw close to Him and show our faithfulness?
Admitting our hurt and pain to someone who has been there and done that, and who can speak into our souls’ understanding and comfort. No matter the circumstances of the loss, knowing that the Father also had to bear losing a loved one.
Accepting the fact that we may not always understand why and deciding to stay loyal to God by walking in faith that He is who He says He is. God didn’t call us to a walk of understanding. He called us to a walk of faith.
Romans 1:17C, Galatians 3:11B, and Hab 2:4B states, “The righteous shall live by faith.”
God has all the moral credibility against the world by asking and expecting us to remain faithful when He remained faithful to us, even when it cost Him His child. Those who turn away from God when they lose a loved one are doing nothing more than being unfaithful.
Instead of running away, we should be running toward Him. I believe there is a comfort and grace which becomes magnified when we pray that God would touch us from His experience. He has already been through this. And God can bring us a word, a vision, a touch, a presence out of His limitless experience that He has felt, which can offer comfort for our sufferings.
We don’t always need our hurt resolved with answers. We just want to know that someone who has gone through what we are going through is there for us to lean on. And you can be assured that God has gone through what you have, and you can call on Him for hope and healing.
Perhaps the first prayer that some may need to make is along the lines of this: God, help me to show the same faithfulness to you over the death of my loved one, as You showed Yourself faithful to me over the death of Jesus.
The second prayer that could be made as a follow up to this or any other situation we come to endure would be: God, touch me from your experience about this.
God understands.
The next time we question if God really understands death, the loss of a loved one, the loss of my loved one, what I am going through, the answer must be yes.