Disputes among the Brethren
Exodus 18:13-27 Gives us the account of where Moses sat as Judge for all the people’s issues. With any group of any size, undoubtedly there will arise disagreements that need settled. The situation here was that Moses wasn’t just doing the difficult cases, but all the easy low hanging fruit problems also. His Father in law suggested that reputable men of judgement be appointed by 10’s, then 50’s, hundreds, and thousands, so that differences would be brought to the lowest level first and then work their way up through the judicial system according to its complexity.
And with that, most cases would be settled in the “courts”. This structure was the organizational set up for much of judicial review today in the world. Start here and go higher on appeals.
Solomon was one of the wisest men who ever lived, and the classic example is found in 1Kings 3:16-28 when 2 women were disputing whose baby belonged to who and he said cut it in 2 and give each a half. This provoked the real mother who wanted to save her child to say no even though it meant giving it up to the other women. Which resulted in Solomon getting to the truth and the real mother getting her child back.
1 Cor 6:4-8 Reveals that settling disputes is a big issue and the indictment is on the church body for not having in place a judicial review among us (v5) that avoids secular courts. This coincides with Matt 18:15 to a point about taking issues with each other to the elders of a church to resolve and mend conflict. I have never seen this played out in church world mainly because of our church structure in modern history.
Who would agree to this to begin with? We do not have area wide churches, we have denominations, etc. So, what if 2 believers are from different churches, whose elders would decide. Would the elders then be biased? What about protecting the innocent who are potentially victimized by other Christians? Justice is a big issue and is demanded by God. How about protecting the finances I’ve been entrusted with? What if I don’t trust the other person even if they proclaim to be a believer?
Acts 15:36-41 records that Saul (Apostle Paul) and Barnabas had such a disagreement that they had a temporary falling out and went their separate ways. Partners in Ministry can find themselves at irreconcilable odds. To top it off, they both had the same goals, but parted company anyway.
1 Cor 8:9- 13 Reveals to the listener that we should always consider other viewpoints and convictions before demanding our own way. We shouldn’t push into people’s faces what we think is Ok when they don’t. This doesn’t mean we have to give up what we believe and practice but should not use our actions to cause others to be hurt in their walk with God. We should try to balance building them up without compromising our convictions.
Let’s be honest about things, not everyone agrees about everything. In the best marriages, couples will find themselves at odds. Siblings and best friends will have to find mutual concessions to keep the peace. Business partners, neighbors, politics, etc. will see disharmony enter somehow, someway.
Here are some thoughts on finding resolution. Seek common ground if you can, (What do you agree on?) Are there shared ideas, goals, principles that you both have in common? Can both sides list their (non) essentials, and pros and cons for their position. What can you give up in good faith? Peacefully persuade your argument/position.
What trust issues are there? Can you both agree on someone as an arbitrator who has no agenda or stake in the matter to arbitrate. Why aren’t you willing to sign a legal paper for agreement? Ask yourself: What got us here, what is in my heart? If no closure can be forthcoming, can you agree to disagree peacefully and move on in life seeking no retribution?
Be reminded that 1 Cor 13:5 informs that “Love is not easily offended”. But if Love is offended, how we handle may define the issue and us.