The Stupid Party admits it actually is stupid
I’ve always resisted calling Republicans “stupid.”
I might disagree with their politics and call those Republicans who advanced them dim-witted, dunder-headed, simple-minded and other hyphenated stuff — but never “stupid.” That’s about to change. One of the Republican Party’s more vocal members is, himself, calling it stupid.
Louisiana’s Republican governor, Bobby Jindal, speaking at the winter meeting of the Republican National Committee, decreed, “We must stop being the Stupid Party. I’m serious. It’s time for a new Republican party that talks like adults. It’s time for us to articulate our plans and visions for America in real terms.”
Well, what do you know? A Republican who can count. He’s figured out that in five out of the last six presidential elections, Democratic candidates have gotten more popular votes than did Republicans. (Al Gore got more votes than George W. Bush in 2000, don’t forget.)
But on the very same day Jindal was chastising his fellow Stupidlicans for being stupid, two of his fellow Stupidlicans were in Washington, well, being stupid.
While Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was testifying about her knowledge of the 9/11 Benghazi attack, she became visibly emotional when she recalled viewing Marines as they carried the flag-draped caskets of the four murdered Americans from the plane at Andrews Air Force Base. It was clear that Clinton, who freely took responsibility for the U.S. response to the attack, was shaken by the experience.
But not to Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wisc.). Later in the day, Johnson implied Clinton had intentionally brought up her rendezvous with the families of the dead diplomats, and she’d faked her emotional recalling of it, to avoid having to face serious questions. Stupid is as stupid does.
And Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), the leading candidate to become the voice of The “Stupid Party,” boasted that if he was the president, he would have relieved Clinton of her job, since she hadn’t functioned the way he thought she should have. Paul won’t have to worry about being in a position to relieve anybody of their duties while he’s the president. He’ll never be the president. The “Stupid Party” might be stupid, but it’s not stupid enough to allow him to become a serious presidential candidate.
Meanwhile, “Stupid Party” Chairman Reince Preibus also appeared at that winter meeting, and he gave some indication that he’s got simple math skills, too. “I don’t need a calculator to know we need to win more votes. We have to find more supporters. We have to go places we haven’t been, and we have to invite new people to join us,” he told the assembled Stupidlicans.
Here’s what I think he was saying.
If you happen upon a foreigner, and they don’t speak English, just speak louder. Yell until they understand what you’re saying.
Still don’t get it? Well, for the sake of this analogy, Hispanics, African-Americans, women, members of the LGBT community and younger voters are foreigners. Preibus thinks the reason most of the voters in those groups have increasingly voted for Democrats is because they can’t hear all the good stuff his party has to offer. Problem is, they do hear it, but they reject it. Priebus and his party just don’t hear them.
When Rand Paul, for instance, rushed to a radio microphone the day after the president gave his inaugural speech, and he implied that President Obama had ignored the U.S. Constitution, the founding fathers and the Creator, when, in fact, his speech included all of them, Paul was simply feeding the same old “Stupid” narrative about the president and his supposedly Marxist, liberal inclinations.
It would have helped if Paul had even bothered to witness that speech firsthand. Instead, he was down in Charleston, S.C., and there’s no evidence he even saw Obama’s speech.
Preibus and Jindal have an uphill battle. They’d like their party to be anything else but stupid.
But once again, in the words of Forrest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.”
Edward A. Owens is a three time Emmy Award winner and 20 year veteran of television news. Email him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net