Are right-wingers whiny sissies?
Has that thought ever crossed your mind?
It’s true! They have an uncanny tendency to make mountains from mole hills and pull boogeymen out of thin air.
Birdwatchers and kids playing basketball in the street? Violent thugs. Skittles and bottles of mountain dew? Weapons. A handful of people walking through an unlocked gate? That’s an unruly mob of 300, and private businesses who require customers to wear masks on their premises in the middle of a pandemic, they might as well have opened the valves at Auschwitz’s gas chambers themselves.
And don’t forget about the transgender toilet monsters, the government gun grabbers, the militant vegans, the radical feminists, the antifa “terrorists”… I mean, really, if you’re against anti-fascists, what does that make you? Take all the time you need to think about that one. I’ll wait. This article will still be here when you get back.
Remember the Soros-funded busloads of looters that were coming to raid rural suburbs? The ones in those social media posts that definitely weren’t started by white supremacists using fake accounts? Where are they, and what would they loot if they really existed? Laurel Mall? The slushie machine at Sweet Pea’s? Don’t worry, it’s safe. Liberals don’t like high fructose corn syrup.
And righties are lazy, too!
Remember the anti-lockdown Michelin Men rolling through Harrisburg at 5 mph in their cars, blaring their horns? And the guy parading around in his personal golf cart chariot, shouting “White power!”?
Meanwhile, left wing protesters march on foot and chant for miles! For weeks at a time, enduring tear gas, rubber bullets, flashbangs and physical assault, and solely on a diet of kale smoothies and pretension, no less!
Are leftists spineless, impotent, effeminate, sensitive little soy boys, or are they a cabal of special forces deep state shadow queers, like that guy with the AK-47 that Fox News photoshopped into four different pictures of protesters? Pick a mischaracterization and stick with it, please.
But the thing they’re most afraid of is losing power, or at least the comforting illusion of power, because who really believes the politicians they vote for care about them? And nothing threatens the fear and anger building blocks of that illusion like the truth.
Truth is always a barrier, because in order to find it, you have to actually want to look for it, you see, and that only happens when it suits them. Just look at Bill Stewart’s recent letter based on the McCloskey fairy tale in St. Louis.
The truth? Protesters never set foot on the McCloskey’s property! The McCloskeys don’t own the private street the protesters walked on for 15 seconds, their homeowner’s association does. It’s not public property, but it is community property, so the McCloskeys can’t appoint themselves Sultans of the Street. In all the videos of that incident, there’s no evidence of anyone posing a threat to anyone’s well-being until the McCloskey’s guns were drawn.
Mr. Stewart proposes that an individual who doesn’t move on after being told to leave a roadway or a property should be considered an immediate threat to one’s life. Of course, in his mind, this justifies lethal force; the state-sanctioned ability to mow down anyone who takes too long crossing the street, and the right to murder anyone as long as you say they were a threat and drag the body across your property line afterward. What kind of pansy is so threatened by someone’s mere presence that they need to kill them?
It’s the same mindset of the police officers who shot Michael Ellerbe in the back as he ran away, or the ones who tased Shaheen Mackey twenty times while he was handcuffed in a restraint chair after having a seizure. Fair trials? Pfft. That’s liberal propaganda!
And then there are other truths, like how the NRA is a gun manufacturer lobbying group that stays silent every time the government violates our rights, because the government is the gun manufacturer’s biggest customer, or how masks reduce transmission of COVID, or how, if they’d ever read the whole Declaration of Independence or genuine historical documents, righties would see that the founding fathers were against immigration restrictions and tariffs, and in favor of pandemic lockdowns, and how our current president is guilty of about a dozen other grievances they levied against King George.
“Wait! You said the founding fathers supported lockdowns!” Yeah. They did. Once upon a time, in 1793, when our nation’s capital was in Philadelphia, a yellow fever epidemic struck while some nobody named Washington was president, and not only was Philadelphia locked down, the roads were barricaded so people couldn’t leave! You should read about it, and the 14 characteristics of fascism while you’re at it. Unless, of course, you’re afraid the history book body snatchers will turn you gay with their rainbow glitter lasers.
Imagine the righties who managed to read this far, with their fingers in their ears: “La la la la la! This guy’s a Bill Gates mind control vaccine anarcommunusocialixt that runs around with the moon Muslims the space force is supposed to protect us from! It’s all lies!!!”
The truth doesn’t care about your star-spangled safe space fear bubble, Tinkerbell.
Kanye West sums up their mental gymnastics perfectly: “We at war with terrorism, racism, but most of all, we at war with ourselves.”
Justin Sims
Uniontown