A snowy conundrum
The last time it snowed I made a snowman. A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman. So, I made a snow woman. My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest, saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
The gay couple living nearby said it should have been two snowmen instead. The transgender person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts. The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
I was called a racist because the snow couple was white. I was cited for not masking and social distancing the snow people. The Middle Eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up. The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
TV news crew showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snow women? I said, “Snow varies?” I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. I was asked if I had any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. Far-left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
By noon it had all melted.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
Pastor Terry Hagedorn
Mountain Manna Ministry
Smithfield