Our colorful language again!
I鈥檓 beside myself with 鈥� Hey, wait!
I can鈥檛 possibly be beside myself.
That蘑菇视频 physiologically impossible.
So is when you tell somebody to, 鈥渨atch your mouth.鈥�
They鈥檙e a couple of terms Americans use in our thriving arsenal of idioms.
Stuff that can鈥檛 be taken literally.
Back in June, I wrote a column about how our daily language would be difficult for foreigners or Martians to understand.
This is the sequel.
Here goes.
When somebody says they are 鈥渕aking their bed,鈥� they aren鈥檛 constructing a bed. They鈥檙e putting their bed in order. Nobody ever says, 鈥淚鈥檓 going to go put my bed in order.鈥�
And when somebody claims the person to whom they鈥檙e speaking has, 鈥渕ade their bed鈥� 鈥� that they must now 鈥渟leep in it鈥� 鈥� there蘑菇视频 usually no bed in sight.
I鈥檝e always wondered why it蘑菇视频 appropriate to say somebody is 鈥済etting into bed,鈥� when all they鈥檙e doing is getting ON it.
I鈥檓 not a 鈥渟tickler鈥� for proper language. I don鈥檛 even know what a 鈥渟tickler鈥� is. If you happen to find a 鈥渟tickler,鈥� please send me one.
I don鈥檛 know who those people are, who stand in frying pans. I do know they鈥檝e been warned not to 鈥渏ump from the frying pan into the fire.鈥�
A terrifying and painful waste of time if you ask me.
NOTE: Nobody has ever asked me.
My teeth are without skin.
They鈥檙e skinless.
So, please don鈥檛 tell me you think I got by on 鈥渢he skin of my teeth.鈥�
I know that from time to time, I put 鈥渕y best foot forward.鈥� Alternatively, I 鈥減ut one foot in front of the other,鈥� because, I suppose, there蘑菇视频 no other way to walk.
American English is full of terms that don鈥檛 mean what they sound like.
We don鈥檛 walk 鈥渄own鈥� the street if the pavement is flat, do we?
People still have no compunctions about adjusting the directions of things. When down can mean 鈥渦p鈥� 鈥� and up can sometimes mean 鈥渄own.鈥�
Don鈥檛 believe me?
If you live in Uniontown, you may have heard people say they鈥檙e going 鈥渄own鈥� to Pittsburgh 鈥� even though it蘑菇视频 north of Uniontown.
Or, you may hear people say they鈥檙e going 鈥渦p鈥� to Morgantown 鈥� which is south.
Language is fun. I try to use it all of the time.
But I鈥檓 sometimes confounded by its less than direct representations of some things.
Have you ever truly been 鈥渁t the end of your rope?鈥�
What did that feel like?
Do you suppose anybody has ever suffered from an occasion when a 鈥渃at got their tongue?鈥�
The only way that could happen is if somebody 鈥渓et the cat out of the bag.鈥�
But why was the cat in that darned bag to begin with?
Were you playing 鈥渃at and mouse鈥� with it?
Do you (or anybody) live in a 鈥渄og eat dog鈥� world, where people always fight like 鈥渄ogs and cats?鈥�
And then they get 鈥渄og-tired,鈥� and, consequently, they get as 鈥渟ick as a dog.鈥�
When it rains, why do people say it蘑菇视频 raining 鈥渃ats and dogs?鈥�
I鈥檝e never seen a cat or a dog rain.
Have you?
People are often accused of 鈥減utting the cart before the horse.鈥� Or, getting something 鈥渟traight from the horse蘑菇视频 mouth.鈥� Or not being able to 鈥渢each an old dog new tricks.鈥� I wonder what would happen if you tried to teach an 鈥渙ld dog鈥� OLD tricks.
Just a thought.
I鈥檝e asked this question before. But why do animals contribute so much to our colorful language?
While on the subject of our colorful language, whenever you cut through a lot of 鈥渞ed tape,鈥� it could be called a 鈥渞ed letter鈥� day, unless the 鈥渞ed tape鈥� you鈥檙e cutting through is somebody else蘑菇视频 money and you get caught 鈥渞ed-handed.鈥�
Once in a 鈥渂lue moon,鈥� I get the 鈥渂lues,鈥� when I suspect the 鈥渨alls have ears.鈥�
That蘑菇视频 a time when I have to 鈥渒eep my ear to the ground,鈥� despite that being nearly impossible at my age.
I guess it蘑菇视频 time to finish this diatribe.
I鈥檓 going to have to (ugh) 鈥渉it the sack.鈥�
Edward A. Owens is a multi-Emmy Award winner, former reporter, and anchor for Entertainment Tonight, and 40-year TV news and newspaper veteran. E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net.