OP-ED: When the holiday season is not jolly
“Creator God let’s be honest, there are some things I am not thankful for today. I am not thankful for cancer, disease, addiction, and crime” is how I started the holiday blessing before meals at our home last month on Thanksgiving Day.
2021 and 2022 were difficult times for my immediate family. In October 2021, I was in my first car accident. Less than a month later, my sister Maria was diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian cancer. In June, my struggles with addiction came to a head, and I removed my name from the ballot and retired from the Pennsylvania House of Representatives. In the fall, I had additional health struggles, as did my father and aunt. I don’t share these things with you publicly because I want your sympathy, but rather to illustrate why I don’t feel “holly and jolly” this holiday season. In fact, part of me would rather not hear holiday music or see twinkling lights.
That said, I have meditated and come to the conclusion that the Christmas we just celebrated wasn’t about me. As Christians, we believe that Christmas is about the birth of a child that was sent into our world to die for our sins so that we can enjoy an everlasting life with our Creator – I don’t know what a greater cause for joy and celebration could be. But our human bodies are bound by our emotions, and the truth is many suffer from multiple forms of what I’ll call “holiday funk.”
The holiday malaise can bring many people to a breaking point. It makes me wonder if we have built Christmas into a holiday that is so large it is too overwhelming to manage. So, this year, my wife Rebecca, the kids, and I made the conscious decision to slow down and celebrate a simpler holiday season. Of course, we still have family get-togethers, holiday parties, and church services to attend. I am not suggesting that we, as a society, forego all those traditions, but for a type-A perfectionist like myself, I am suggesting that we embrace our own imperfect humanity and simply love and enjoy this time. Knowing this time is difficult on some, I would encourage you to check on your friends, family, and neighbors.
Celebrate the season with them in a way that doesn’t add additional stress, but that does take into consideration both your own and their mental health. Check in on those who have recently lost a loved one. Instead of perfectly decking your halls, think about joining a soup kitchen or church ministry to help those in need.
I don’t know who may need to hear this, but if you are feeling gloomy and want to pull the covers over your head and forget the world, remember why it is that we put so much effort into Christmas traditions and celebrations — the birth of Christ our Savior. And, for those who are not spiritual, remember we do this for the next generation.
I recently pulled a set of eight holiday glasses from the top shelf in my pantry. These ornate glass cups only get one or two uses a year, but they were given to me by my grandmother, Agnes. I love them because they remind me of past Christmases. I don’t remember drinking out of them as a kid, but I remember seeing them every year. The memories the generation before me helped to instill can make me smile no matter how much seasonal depression has set in. I posted a photo of the glasses to Facebook and Instagram, and likely because they have a local connection, having been made by Houze Glass in Point Marion, many others have sent me messages to share the same joy and memories these objects bring – not because of the objects themselves, but because of their connections to the people we love.
So, this holiday season, if you are feeling overwhelmed and dreary on these cold dark evenings, look at it through the eyes of a child – your child’s or the Christ child’s and you will experience the true joy of the season.
Matthew Dowling is a husband and father who resides in Uniontown, where he served as a state representative for six years and currently hosts the podcast, “Commonalities,” on WMBS radio.