Did you know Superman is black?
BREAKING NEWS!
After extensive forensic investigations, officials at Ancestry.com have determined that Superman, aka “The Man of Steel,” is an African American.
According to Ancestry, the man who’s “faster than a speeding bullet” and who “can leap tall buildings in a single bound,” was born in Harlem – and had parents (Jor-El and Lara Lor-Van) who hailed from Africa – not the planet Krypton.
The noted actor Idris Elba has been cast to play Superman in the upcoming film, “Yeah! I’m Superman, Sucker.”
Racists everywhere are up in arms. There are sure to be #NotMySuperman tweets.
Superman, they’re complaining, can’t be a Black man.
Let me add this. I’m not that pleased that Idris Elba is playing Superman, either.
He’s not from Harlem. He’s not even an African American. He’s from London, England. And his parents aren’t even from “regular” Africa. They were born in Egypt.
I’m flustered about this.
OK! Enough of this nonsense.
There’s no upcoming Superman movie.
So, there’s no Black actor about to play Superman in that non-existent movie.
Superman is a fictional character. (I threw that in, just in case you still think he is real.)
The Little Mermaid isn’t real, either. But there sure are lots of racists in this country who are up in arms about who’ll play her in an upcoming movie.
In 2019, it was announced that Halle Lynn Bailey (a 22-year-old, multi-talented, singer, actress, record producer, and songwriter) would play the lead character (Princess Ariel) in an upcoming live-action version of The Little Mermaid.
Oh, my, oh, my! That announcement set off heated protests from folks who were sure that Halle Bailey didn’t qualify to play a half-human, half-fish because she’s entirely African American.
That’s when Twitter users came up with the hashtag #NotMyAriel.
That protest faded, until recently, when Disney released a trailer featuring Ms. Bailey in all of her half-human, half-fish glory.
Racists everywhere are beside themselves – again.
They’re claiming that a Black person can’t play a semi-fish.
Who are these people going to “indoctrinate” our littlest citizens with such fiction, about fiction – (I suppose they’re asking)?
This seems like that time back in 2013, when Fox News’ Megyn Kelly forced her version of the “truth” down the throats of her Fox News watchers.
“For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white,” she professed with matter-of-fact certainty.
Santa Claus was at the end of Kelly’s diatribe, which also included Jesus.
“Jesus was a white man, too. It’s like we have, he’s a historical figure that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa,” she opined.
The ethnicity of Santa Claus is as much a “verifiable fact” as is The Little Mermaid. (It’s not.)
That doesn’t prevent the nation’s goobers from pretending “verifiable facts” can be encased within pure fiction.
There are adorable videos of little Black girls watching that new Little Mermaid trailer for the first time.
They were thrilled to see that there’ll be a character who looks like them. Their pure joy was authentic.
But some people don’t want that to happen.
They’re blaming the folks at Disney for supposedly performing some sort of “social engineering” by having a fantasy character played by a person of color.
Some folks even claim that Halle Bailey is a, get this, “woke actress.”
“Woke” is now that catch-all for anything some people aren’t willing to accept.
Calling Ms. Bailey “woke,” because she’s been chosen to play the part of a character in a movie, is silly.
But people are doing it anyway. Because they believe some people aren’t entitled to be full-fledged members of our society.
Well, they are. We are. Everybody is.
It’s not like Hollywood cast Queen Latifah in a movie about the late Queen Elizabeth II.
Or, perhaps, if the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Will Smith, was cast as Prince William.
This is a movie about somebody who never existed.
In today’s America, some folks just don’t get that.
FOR THE RECORD: I think that Mickey Mouse just might be Black.
Edward A. Owens is a multi-Emmy Award winner, former reporter, and anchor for Entertainment Tonight, and 50-year TV news and newspaper veteran. E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net.