Athletes anxious for Christmas, too
With apologies to Clement Moore …
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
Andrew McCutchen rested, content is his warm bed,
Although his young son fidgeted with thoughts of Christmas morn filling his head;
Andrew was pleased the Phillies saw fit,
To pay him handsomely for using his mitt;
Reds’ fans nodded off, with smiles on their faces,
After the big transaction that had Yasiel and Matt trading places;
No more doormats, they thought to themselves,
Glory be and thanks to the GMĢƵ little elves;
Matt Murray was restless, tossing and turning,
He tried to relax, but his stomach kept churning;
His list didn’t have pads, mask, glove or skates,
No, young Matt just wanted a healthy month so he could play hockey with his teammates;
Bryan Rust is on a quite the scoring run, so he asked of St. Nick,
For his recent scoring touch to hang around so he could net a hat trick;
Le’Veon, poor Le’veon, just tossed and turned,
Wondering how many bridges he had burned;
The talented back came off as being selfish and greedy,
Not an athlete who was very needy;
His agent emailed owners, looking for millions,
But, if so willing, Le’Veon would take billions;
Steeler fans dreamed, drifting off in sleep with thoughts of Big Ben,
Vivid dreams of the QB calling out, in cadence, to his linemen;
Now, Maurkice! now, Alejandro! Now, B.J and Matt,
On, David! on, Ramon! Keep me from being hit and going splat;
Block away! block away! block away all!
So I have plenty of time to throw the ball;
Jordy Mercer dozed off, with the knowledge he has a new uniform,
The former Pirate signed with the Tigers, playing shortstop in Detroit to be his new norm;
Clint Hurdle relaxed in his easy chair, peeking through sleep-filled eyes,
Hoping to espy Santa coming down the chimney with his Christmas surprise;
Santa was dressed in Pirates’ colors, Black & Gold from head to feet,
The manager cried out, “I hope you brought a long-ball hitter, so the Reds we can beat!”
A bundle of Toys Santa had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
“Let me look Clint,” Santa said with a wry smile,
He reached into his sack and replied, “ItĢƵ the Pitch Back net you wanted as a child,”
UCFĢƵ Josh Heupel penned his Santa letter weeks ago,
But the football coach quickly realized the futility of doing so;
He already knew his request for a spot in the Final Four had fallen on deaf ears,
For the CFP committee ignored his plea and the teamĢƵ chance had again disappeared;
So, the winners of 21 games straight,
Apparently didn’t carry any weight;
They weren’t invited to play in the championship game,
Despite all the support and national acclaim;
Tiger Woods’ appeal finally paid off, back to his old swagger,
Hopefully he’ll remain humble and not be a bragger;
Pittsburgh sports fan asked for a happy 2019,
And a lot of victories in their local sports scene;
The Steelers, the Penguins, and especially the Pirates team,
Just one of the three reaching that title dream;
Santa flew off into the stars, without any fright,
Exclaiming with excitement, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”
On behalf of the ĢƵ sports staff, hope all have a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and safe and wonderful holiday season.