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According To Hofmann

A recent vacation has reinforced my longing for a staycation, which is where you’re off work, but you stay at home and watch television for a week and see what kind of molds and fungus grow from your living corpse.I’ve taken plenty of staycations during my single days. I spent one memorable ...

According to Hofmann: Thank you, thank you

Has there ever been an established protocol of thanking someone for holding a door open when going through two sets of doors?ItĢƵ something I think about way more than the number of times recommended by my OCD therapist, who said there wasn’t even a condition for my obsession and labeled it ...

According to Hofmann: Take it sneezy

Maybe itĢƵ the pandemic, but lately, I’ve really taken notice how people sneeze...and then writing down their name, license plate number and if they sneezed in their sleeve or in their hands. I send those findings to the CDC...maybe the FBI depending how they wiped their nose following the ...

I didn’t want to write yet another column about my ongoing belief that computers are going to take us over like I learned from movies like “The Terminator”, “The Matrix” and “Throw Momma From the Train”, but please keep in mind that the machines were the ones forcing my hand ...

They say the cause and effect of overeating and weight gain is considered to be something of a “vicious cycle.”Being what the doctors diagnosed as a “lard butt,” I happen to agree; however, I wouldn’t refer to it as being “vicious” at all. ItĢƵ more like a frustrating cycle ...